Sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें: 8 things journalists were wrong about Modi & Co in Karnataka elections
How many assumptions and presumptions went ‘phus’ when the people spoke
Journalism isn’t supposed to be astrology, but predicting what might happen on the basis of what we know is seen as a plus point for a good journalist on both sides of the touchpad.
It is what media outlets look for in hacks they hire, unless they are seeking safe stenos, as many do to stave off tax-terrorist attacks on the maalik’s other gigs.
It is also what news consumers look for in those who supply their daily poison, unless they are stoics, content to know that the sun rose in the east this achche din.
Elections are a particularly good time to gaze at the crystal ball for the alleged descendants of Naarad—the devarishi designated as the first journalist in humankind by those who also decreed that Ganesha was its first test-tube baby.☝🏿
Ergo, supply meets demand.
Using the scientifically proven combo of a guess, a hunch, a mild beer, and a wild imagination, we effortlessly jump to conclusions. And, just to be sure, we deploy an opinion poll with a sample size of one to back our findings.
And we let the world know.
Well, at least it used to be this way till the court-appointed WhatsApp admins began sending ready-to-print headlines and tickers along with other editorial guidelines. This has made a journalist’s life as a soothsayer much harder because, frankly, how many times can you blame some faceless fuck when delivery doesn’t meet hype?👇🏿
Still, an honest journalist, who/which in most cases is an oxymoron, tries to “do the needful”, as required by the terms of the unwritten contract. So pap and propaganda flow like, well, the Vrushbhavati in spate.
And in the Karnataka elections, the predictions of chamchas, cheerleaders and other charlatans have been exposed by the collective wisdom of the Lingayats, Vokkaligas, Kurubas, Dalits, Muslims, Nayakas, Brahmins, Christians and Sikhs.
Id est, the people.
Vox populi, vox dei, where dei is not the Tamil dei, mind it.
So, on behalf of the guilty parties—the chamchas, cheerleaders and charlatans—it is time to say sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें for getting it so wrong,
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1.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, we were wrong to tell you that Narendra Modi was a guaranteed vote magnet whereever the pradhan pracharak’s beautiful shadow fell on this punyabhoomi.
In Karnataka he was anything but.
BJP won in just two of the 16 places he held a public meeting. And Y. Adityanath, racked up 0 out of 10.👇🏿
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2.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, we were wrong to forward the IT Cell forward that the Congress promise of a ban on organisations like Bajrang Dal would piss off Hindus in Karnataka.
It didn’t.
In fact, BJP lost votes in three of the five communal cauldrons on the coast where this issue should have resonated. In one, it came third. If anything, it perhaps drew more people under the Congress canopy but who knows?
ps: Did anybody hear voters shout ‘Jai Bajrang Bali’ after voting as Don Quixote and his various Sancho Panzas, tilting at the windmills of the Constitution, exhorted them to do?
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3.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, we were wrong to suggest that all those sweet tweets and photo-ops drafted by Modi’s image managers, ostensibly establishing the PM’s lamba rishtha with fill-your-target-group-here, would turn into votes.
Cojones. That’s Spanish for the danglers.👇🏿
For one thing, there is something called overexposure. And for another, hyper social media activity is no sign that these things are playing in the minds of voters.
For instance, releasing the Tiger Census is something any second-division clerk in the forest ministry could have done, but a PM unveiling it to the pop of the flashbulbs at election time scares away tigers—and voters.
In Chamarajanagar district, where the said Tiger census photo-op was staged, and where Modi did a “road show” on the last day of campaigning, BJP lost all four seats.
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4.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, the insight, repeated till the cows came home, that Janata Dal (Secular) would be the kingmaker in 2023 was utter bull crap.
With a very unwell Deve Gowda, with his two sons (and their wives) squabbling, with the party in total disarray, it was just an expression of hope of interested parties commissioned to sing the tune.
JDS got fewer seats than last time and has nearly been wiped out, a deserved state, some would say, for two of India’s most untrustworthy leaders trying to cut deals with the BJP to keep the empire safe.👇🏿
As the Indian Express graphic shows☝🏿, a large chunk of JDS’s vote has gone to the Congress. Kumaraswamy’s angelic son Nikhil has now lost a Lok Sabha election and an Assembly election in a row.
Parivarvaad zindabad.
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5.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, calling an operation to bring back the 31 Hakki Pikki tribals stuck in Sudan ‘Operation Kaveri’, because they are Kaveri putras, failed to bear fruit with Kannadigas anywhere.
Initially, external affairs minister S. Jaishankar was “simply appalled” that a Congressman was flagging the issue.👇🏿
But as the saying goes, never waste a crisis.
Soon Jaishankar, the great votecatcher, was enlisted into the official BJP campaign in Karnataka to fetch some votes.
The party campaign was deceptively turned into an “interactive session” organised by an RSS-backed Thinkers’ Forum in Mysore to entice young voters without their knowing.👇🏿
Jaishankar waxed eloquent on what a challenging rescue it was under the leadership of the honourable prime minister. And we in the media fell for it hook, line and sinker, and went to town. But did it win BJP any votes? You take a guess. Of the 11 seats in Mysore, BJP won exactly one.
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6.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, the row over the entry of Amul into Karnataka—seen as yet another electoral masterstroke by the Union minister of co-operation Amit Shah under the leadership of the honourable prime minister—was just a storm in the TV anchor’s cup.
The conventional wisdom was this election-eve announcement was to tap into the political power weilded by the co-operative sector in Karnataka, and of course its financial muscle.
But one look at this Hindustan Times map of where Nandini is strongest and how BJP has fared there will tell you all there is to know.👇🏿
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7.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, just as disturbing the Nandini equilibrium backfired for the BJP in South Karnataka, likewise the launch of the Mysore-Chennai Vande Bharat Express and the Mysore-Bangalore expressway.
Again, like so many issues in this election, the conventional media wisdom of these launches was that these vikas ventures were surefire vote fetchers for the BJP among city dwellers.
In Mysore and its district, whose voters are supposed to be the primary beneficiaries of the road and the train, the BJP won one out of 11 seats. In Mandya, through which the road and the train pass, it got zero out of eight.
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8.
Like, sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, the overkill of outdoor hoardings, newspaper advertisements, TV commercials, internet ads, the personal letter to voters, the carpet-bombing, the interviews etc was based on the theory that all publicity is good publicity.
As if citizens are consumers of a commercial product.
Karnataka’s biggest TV news channel TV9 devoted 64 hours to the last 11 of Narendra Modi’s rallies and road shows.
Despite all this publicity; despite all this exposure; despite all the overkill; despite all the Modi, Modi, Modi; despite the exit polls helpfully suggesting a hung verdict, BJP ended up with 66 seats in a house of 224; Congress 135.
Sorry, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ, mea culpa, क्षमा करें, we couldn’t see. Maybe we could, but were not allowed to say so loudly.
Or, maybe this was all an illusion. Maya.
Maybe all this was aimed not at Karnataka at all but the rest of the country. Maybe all this was addressed not at the 2023 Assembly election but the 2024 general election.
Maybe, but who has seen tomorrow, unless you are an astrologer.
Or a journalist.
Lovely. One of the best satire pieces I have read in recent times. Thoroughly enjoyed it. There is one more point though of the parivarvad you missed. Sidelining one and hoisting up another didn’t do the trick may be.
Thank you. This is among the best analysed pieces of the Karnataka elections. Hitting the nail on the head, whilst using satire was so well done. Kudos, shaabash, thumba chennagithu👍.