PR kiya toh darna kya: The MPs' tour of countries is an effort to deflect attention and evade accountability
Instead of telling Parliament, press, and the people why Pahalgam happened, Narendra Modi opts for a TV spectacle
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Of all the drama and spectacle---the non-stop nautanki---that Indians have been entertained with since the dawn of civilisation in 2014, nothing beats seven packs of parliamentarians and diplomats jetting off to 32 points on the globe, to explain in person "India's case" in the recent conflagration with Pakistan, for the hollowness of its objective.
It is such a staggeringly hare-brained idea that you must pinch Kiren Rijiju's tweet to see if this, indeed, is the 25th year of the third millennium.
Or, since we are talking of a majoritarian regime losing no opportunity to underline the greatness of Hinduism, in Vikram Samvat 2082, which is the only place it is ahead of the Gregorian calendar.
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On the one hand, the 'Sita Travels' tour is proof that all the self-attested certificates of 'Vishwa Guru' and 'Vishwa Bandhu' and 'Vishwa Mitra', were just hollow slogans keyed into Narendra Modi's teleprompter by some PMO poet.
And the G20 jamboree in city after city was just a taxpayer-funded advertisement for the 2024 elections.
When the terrorists mowed the meadows in Pahalgam with blood on April 22, and India decided to fill the foreheads of the widows with vermilion to seek retribution on May 7, it found itself "friendless".
In other words, Modi's trips to over 72 countries since 2014 was as good as worthless when push came to shove. And those over-affectionate hugs and tweets with "My friend so-and-so" was just PDA for the poor souls who had to put up with it.
What to say of Modi's mega rallies? Clearly, just election campaigns from foreign soil.
On the other hand, the 'Tour de Farce' that will now climb up steep mountains and traverse vast deserts and drop anchor at lonely islands, is a sight to behold.
It conforms to the most basic attraction of the annual cycling event in the Alps: spectators don't need to come to the circus, the circus will whizz past the spectators.
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Here's the irony.
Narendra Modi does not want to explain to his own people the massive intelligence and security breach in the world's most heavily militarised zone.
He won't tell you why Pegasus couldn't pick up the chatter leading to the deaths of 29 tourists.
He won't tell you what steps he has taken to hold his national security advisor Ajit Doval, home minister Amit Shah and lieutenant governor Manoj Sinha to account.
He won't tell why the DGP of the Union Territory is still in charge.
He won't address the nation on Pahalgam; he won't meet the press on Pahalgam; he won't call a session of Parliament on Pahalgam; he won't provide proof of Pakistan's involvement in Pahalgam. Nothing.
But the 51 MPs and some retired ambassadors will zip around the world explaining to countries which are barely interested why 'Operation Sindoor' was launched in response to Pahalgam.
Indeed, looking at the appointment and compositions of the seven caravans, it would appear as if the whole idea behind it is to stymie parliamentary scrutiny of the Modi government's culpability behind the Pahalgam massacre to start with, and then to evade questioning on the "ceasefire", which Donald Trump has said happened at his behest not once or twice but seven times.
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The hoo-ha over Shashi Tharoor's inclusion hides the politics behind the nomination of others. Samajwadi Party and Trinamool Congress which between them have 13% of the seats, have two members, one of them a Gujarati (first-time MP Irfan Pathan).
DMK, which occupies 5% of the seats in the Lok Sabha has just one representative in the seven teams (Kanimozhi). No coincidence that UP, Bengal and Tamil Nadu go to the polls soon.
Be that as it may, the presence of 11 Muslim names among the 59 dignitaries (MPs and ex-ambassadors) exposes the limits of BJP's hypocrisy.
Without a single Muslim MP in its ranks, without a single Muslim minister, and without an ounce of empathy, the party has had to concede 18.6% of the spots to Muslims, the first time the community has found such representation, albeit to make the case against the designs of Islamic Pakistan.
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While we can quibble over the details, the simple questions stare us in the face: do the 32 countries the teams will go to really need these MPs to explain "India's case" to them? How objectively will they view this?
If Modi’s heavily personalised visits to many of these countries failed to win them over, what chance does that great statesman Nishikant Dubey stand?
How much time will each country give these MPs? Who in those countries will meet them? And, to paraphrase every analyst explaining the "new normal", what kind of teams will India send the next time the threshold is lowered?
But, above all, the big question: what are the embassies and consulates of those countries doing in India if our MPs have to themselves go and explain? What is the intelligence they are picking up and sending back?
Vice versa, what are Indian embassies and consulates doing if not working the phones and schmoozing influencers in those countries to build positive publicity for India?
Then again, if the intention is to create a rolling TV spectacle in different time zones to deflect public attention; if the intention is to duck probing questions from the press and in Parliament; and if the intention is to create schisms in the Opposition ranks, the Modi government may be on to a good thing.
As the old saying goes, PR kiya to darna kya?