15 questions journalists who cover the External Affairs ministry must ask their WhatsApp admins at PMO and MEA

With scarcely any gravitas, the MPs’ ‘Global Yatra’ seems to be an exercise in evading accountability

The taxpayer-funded ‘Tour de Farce’ of serving parliamentarians, no longer serving ambassadors, and some handpicked servers---to provide a cover for the Narendra Modi government from the forensic examination of the Pahalgam Massacre in parliament---is playing out on the screen in front of you.

First, a group picture of the all-party delegation reluctantly departing this great land with tears in their eyes is tweeted out. Then, when they land at their destinations, an unedited video of the teams limping into the Indian embassy or consulate to do ‘desh seva’ is put out.

Since the statues of Savarkar, Hedgewar and Golwalkar are yet to be installed in the 33 destinations, the MPs are left to garland a statue of Mahatma Gandhi on day two because all these nations seem to have seen Richard Attenborough’s film and learnt that such a man as he (and one from Gujarat to boot) walked this Earth.

The MPs’ core assignment---of convincing nations of Pakistan’s sponsorship of terrorism and India’s zero-tolerance of it---so far seems to be confined to sitting at a 20-foot-long table at the embassy/consulate and addressing a largely diasporic audience which suspiciously looks like it is used to enjoying desi samosas on a fairly regular basis.

If the stars are aligned, as it was for Kanimozhi team, they get to meet people whose designations read “Chairperson of the Foreign Policy Committee of the National Assembly”, or “State Secretary/National Coordinator for National and International Security in the Office of the Prime Minister” in low-ceiling rooms.

Somewhere in between one or the other MP explains the noble objectives of this glorious mission to ANI or PTI.

If it is Asaduddin Owaisi, who is in the Jay Panda group, then the patriotism of Muslims momentarily dawns on BJP’s two-rupee Godse bhakts, bigots and bots.

If it is Shashi Tharoor doing the talking, everybody is absofuckinglutely sure what tmesis means.

At the end of it, there is a boilerplate press release. If you are lucky, like Supriya Sule’s team, you get a page two story in Qatar.

If you are not, like Jay Panda’s (above), you are on page 13 in Bahrain without even a passing mention of Pakistan. Sometimes, it can just be a photo story to liven up a page a la Tharoor (below).

Next nation, please.

The cut a short story long, the ‘Global Yatra’---paid for by all citizens of India who have paid GST, which is everybody---is having little or none of the intended visible impact.

It is, of course, having plenty of invisible impact, in evading Parliament; in breaking up the Opposition; in dividing parties; in legitimising the “B Team”; in pulling wool over the eyes of people.

Above all, the relentless coverage is creating the spectacle it was intended to, with none of the accountability. But, looking at the meagre returns so far, the Ministry of External Affairs, not to mention the Prime Minister’s Office, has plenty of explaining to do.

Here are some questions that should be asked of MEA and PMO, not necessarily in that order.

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1) How many titular or executive heads of the countries---presidents, prime ministers, kings, emirs, etc---have given the MPs' delegations their time and attention? Why not?

2) Which are the countries which made available their key decision-makers, like foreign minister and commerce minister, defence minister and defence chief, to the teams of parliamentarians?

3) Which were the influential Opposition leaders in those countries the MPs' teams reached out to, and courted, so as to build longlasting bipartisan support for India's case?

4) What incontrovertible proof by way of photos, videos and audio intercepts are the delegations carrying with them of Pakistan's hand in the Pahalgam massacre, or is it all just words, rhetoric and circumstantial evidence?

5) Have the teams been empowered to enlighten the world of China's and Turkey's conspicuous backing of Pakistan in the four-day skirmish? Or is it a no-go? Why?

6) How many top news media editors, journalists and columnists of non-Indian origin have the MPs got to meet in person in these countries to seek to convince them of India's case?

7) Has the leading newspaper in any of the 33 countries carried a one-on-one interview with the head of any of the seven MPs' teams?

8) How many op-ed pieces have the MPs and ex-ambassadors been able to place in English and other language newspapers? Or, is this exquisite skill of the PMO and BJP IT Cell reserved only for Indian newspapers?

9) Has any head or a member of the team sat down for a podcast or interview with the leading social media influencer in those countries?

10) On how many TV news channels have one or more members of the delegations appear on primetime discussions?

11) Which are the thinktanks that the MPs met in each of these countries? How were they identified? Were only those have historically enjoyed MEA hospitality invited?

12) Did the MPs address students of any University, or any attend watering holes of local intellectuals in those countries?

13) Which corporates in these countries did the MPs convince not to do business with Pakistan because of its sponsorship of terrorism?

14) What is the total bill run up by the Ministry of External Affairs in the boarding, lodging, travel and other expenses for the 51 MPs?

And finally,

15) What is the point in the MPs spending top dollar to go to these countries if the external affairs minister and national security adviser and foreign secretary are also visiting or speaking to those very same countries?

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In short, convincing the world of India’s case takes more than just hot air and photo-ops.

Jai Hind